Random notes
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These statements may not constitute actual truth, but they are faithful record of what I have observed during our travels.
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1. Concerning other travellers:
a) At least 90% of all travellers are Dutch.
b) There are no Dutch people less than 7ft tall.
c) Owing to their physical qualities, Dutch travellers may frequently be mistaken for gods and goddesses in human form, taking a little sightseeing trot around the world.
d) The remaining 10% of travellers, (snow-skinned Brits, mad Kiwis, scruffy Aussies and the odd spectacle-wearing Korean) must needs band together, which often occurs spontaneously during the long waits incurred while the beautiful people prepare to board the bus attractively.
2. Concerning personal hygiene:
a) It is really impossible to gauge the value of a hot shower until it is the first one you have had in two months.
b) Anything wet (including sweaty clothing) begins to mould approximately 20 seconds after its exposure to liquid in a tropical climate. Mould stink increases at a rate of 500% every 20 minutes until the item in question is completely dried, then it must be rewashed.
c) Squat toilets aren't all that bad, just don't slip.
3. Concerning parasites:
a) Not all leeches are created equal. Some of them are harmless, nay, even helpful little critters. Some of them leave you bleeding, lumpy and exquisitely itchy. There is no way to tell one kind from the other.
b) Mosquitoes only pretend to be permanently solid entities. In fact, they are constituted more along the lines of latter day terminators, capable of liquefying to pass through solid glass and thick netting, before recomposing themselves and attempting to terminate you.
4. Concerning food and beverages:
a) The lassie is proof beyond doubt that drinks with more bacteria are best.
b) The open air meat market is better skirted upwind and it is wise to choose a restaurant set back from drains and sewer ditches.
c) When something tastes 5 times as good as your usual fare, it can be tempting to eat 5 times as much of it. This leads to stomach ache.
d) You should never eat mentos and dried apricots on long journeys in enclosed vehicles, especially not if you have been eating vegetable curries for 3 weeks beforehand.
5. Concerning non-human primates:
a) Do not approach the monkey. He is armed and dangerous.
b) Anything not bolted down is considered fair game by the monkey. This includes clothing and parts of your face. If the monkey has something of yours, be assured that possession is ten tenths of the law.
c) Hurling lethal and/or stinky projectiles from great heights is a perfectly legitimate entertainment if you happen to be a monkey.
6. Concerning accommodation:
a) no matter how cheap, comfortable and convenient it is, the hotel next to the all-night karaoke bar is not a bargain.
b) Beds made from branches look gorgeously rustic, but you'll need a backeotomy to get up in the morning.
Ok, that's all I got for now, but I'll keep my eyes open and post further observations somewhere down the dreaming track... :)
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