Thinking Aloud: Odd Couple, Odd Journey

Nothing much about travel here. Just sayin'...

On the surface, Doug and I are a pretty unlikely couple.

There's a big age difference between us. In August I'll be 29, Doug will turn 50. Yet I'm becoming a grumpy old man and he's getting younger every day :p

Doug believes in mysticism, karma and pre-destination. I prefer the theory that we are all cunning balls of meat and electricity and that everything is determined by statistical probability.

I'm a programmer and I spend my time engaged in technical pursuits and logistics, he's a creative soul who lives behind his camera and swoons over paint patinas.

His family are practically first settlers, mine are a motley band of recent immigrants.

I'm shy around strangers (unless drunk) and covet privacy. Doug wants to know everyone and be a part of everything.

Doug has 4 grown kids, I believe in population control.

I live for a perfect plan, impeccable research and clear direction. Doug doesn't want to know about it unless it's happening NOW.

He is neat and cool as a cucumber, I'm scattered, temperamental and messy.

So why is it the most natural thing in the world to be together? There's no sense of separation or dependency, no sense of sacrifice or invasion. It's just like he was always there, thinking with me, being with me. Like a right arm and a distant memory at the same time. Even when he isn't nearby, he is.

We share love, dreams, hopes - but rarely opinions. We share a strong appreciation for (different) beautiful things and an awareness of the shifting light and darkness in an amazing world.

Doug says I remind him of the way he was 20 years ago. Doug reminds me of the way I was 5 years ago. Yet those assertions are difficult for either of us to understand, because I can't believe in a skeptical Doug and he can't believe I was a cocky social butterfly.

When we met, we were both at a place in our lives where we were ready to turn our lives upside down but with no real idea of where we wanted to go.

So we began this journey. It hasn't provided us with any conclusive answers and we've never been sure it would. I keep trying to come up with that perfect plan and Doug is content to see what happens.

We left Australia thinking this was all about finding new careers and lifestyles. Maybe travel journalism or photography for Doug, maybe writing for me. 6 months later I still have a lot of story outlines and nothing to show for them and Doug hasn't written a single article or sold a single photo. Each of our brains is loaded with strategies, ideas and tasks – we have tons of motivation - yet confidence is lacking and backup plans keep taking priority because they offer so much certainty. Getting "jobs" isn't a problem. We can always go back to those. Sometimes I think that safety net is our worst enemy.

Nothing is ever set in stone and change comes on its own wings whenever it pleases. That's something we clearly understand. If the next 6 months passes and we find ourselves boarding a flight home with limited cash and a desperate need for the employment classifieds, the journey won't end there. That only happens when you let go of your dreams and resign yourself to something less.

We're not intending to just sit back and wait for it. We've heaped piles of tinder – we only need a match. Metaphorical matches are just so hard to freaking grasp.

Now that I've written this I understand what was bugging me that made me start in the first place. It's this awareness of what people consider failure. Doug and I both have friends and family, there are surely people reading this blog too who would consider that going home without that match, without radical change and contracts and money and a condo in Bali should be considered a failure.

Neither Doug or I believe that. Real value lies in lessons, experience, memories and love. Those we have in abundance. There's no getting around the fact that achievement is important too but that comes in so many different forms. I'm defensive about this not because I fear judgment or doubt it's truth but because I'd hate to think that if our match remains elusive, anyone would think that was a reason to leave risk and dreams and travel to the birds.

Doug thinks that the promise in a new day is there by the grace of cosmic patterns. I think that possibility is infinite because it is the sum of uncountable factors.

Whatever the reason, thinking that specific outcomes are what matters is a gap in understanding.